Boy, it sure does feel good to be back in a groove. As much as I am a creature of change and wanderlust, I’m also a person who thrives on routine. To say the first three months of 2017 took me off my game and out of my routine is a gross understatement.
J-man’s seizure and subsequent testing, my mother’s cancer diagnosis and the death of a beloved canine companion truly sent me into a tailspin. I’m usually a happy, upbeat gal, but these events, in a very brief period of time, sent me into a blue, blue, blue funk. I’m talking the not-wanting-to-get-out-of-bed-all-day kind of funk that is unsettling and frightening. These events, the depression (let’s call it what it was), compounded with seemingly never-ending, virtually drug resistant bouts of sinus infections and bronchitis for both me and J-man really upended my world. And the “well meaning” folks who said, “It could be worse, you know,” made things even worse because that just made me feel like an overall crappy person who apparently lacks faith. I spent the first three months of 2017 doing virtually nothing except existing. I didn’t ride. I didn’t run. I didn’t walk. Heck, I didn’t even walk the dogs. Needless to say, my physical and emotional well-being suffered. I felt horrible in every sense of the word.
Greg and I participated in a 61 mile off road Grinduro ride Sunday. Although I’ve done longer rides by far, this ride was the most physically difficult ride I’ve ever done. I was completely out of shape, both mentally and physically. I completed the ride but it was a sufferfest for me. But you know what? It was exactly what I needed. It kick started me mentally and jolted me out of the dark space I had backed myself into. The ride illuminated, with a bright spotlight, just how far I had let myself go. I’m not talking in just a physical sense, I’m talking in every sense of my being.
As much as I hurt physically Monday morning, Jackson and I got back on the bike and I’ve since crept slowly back into a (healthy) routine. It’s been a week of physical activity for me, and I feel better than I’ve felt in months.