Happiness can exist only in acceptance. ~ George Orwell
At first blush, this photo depicts nothing really, except perhaps sheer determination. It represents no great achievement for me personally except that I finished what I started. I came in fourth out of four participants in my time trial class (sport). Like the Olymics, there are only three podium positions in our club’s time trials. The eight plus mile singletrack ride took every ounce of energy I had. The day was unseasonably hot–88 degrees with 62 percent humidity resulting in a “feels like” temperature of 93 degrees. Yes, it was incredibly hot, and I gave the ride every last drip drop I had within me, but the heat offered no excuse for the defeat I felt. The time trial was humbling. I don’t mean in an, “Oh, I’m so humbled…blah blah blah…” empty platitude kind of way. I mean humbled as in: Oh! My! Gosh! I’m 51 and my competitors range from YOUNGER than my daughter to (much) younger sister, and I simply could not hang with them. I was so far out of my league I was in a different zip code. I had a lunch of humble pie that afternoon.
As I mulled over my ride, I was really disappointed despite the effort I put forth–even though I knew I rode as hard as I physically could. I simply couldn’t have done better. And then it (slowly) dawned on me. I am what I am. I am who I am. I am where I am. I am me. I was forced to acknowledge that I’m lavish with grace and acceptance with everyone except myself. And dang it, I need to accept and EMBRACE my effort FOR just that–a whole lot of friggin effort. I need to be proud of myself for what I bring to the table. I can’t lie. That’s so darn difficult for me personally. As an overachiever to whom a lot of physical accomplishments have come easily, that’s humbling. But I’m gonna do it. I need to do. I need to do it for my own wellbeing. So, I hereby resolve to cut myself some slack. I’m officially giving myself a break and telling myself exactly what I’d tell my husband, daughter, son, mother or friend. Bobbie, I’m proud of you. You gave it your all girl. Put on your big girl panties, find contentment where you are and celebrate those young(er) whippersnappers that kicked your tail. They’re fierce gals–just like you. Congratulations on a job well done, one and all. #letsridebikes